Who said you can't go home?

I think it was Tom Wolfe who said that a person can never go Home again. Somehow Home is embodied by the memories we created at that time and place. When we leave Home those memories become the soft focused blurry edged images of what we once knew. The comfort, familiarity, and routine of Home are locked in those memories, and though we can return to the physical place we call Home we can never return to the era of memories that truly embody it.

When the 30 year old me, returns to the small town I grew up in I don't feel like its home. I bring with me age, experience, and judgements that can't connect with the youthful memories that I recall when I revisit my hometown. People say they go home to find themselves, but I think the truth of the matter is this --- the person you are cannot look to the person you were to define who you want to be.

Maybe for me it's because the Home I have created now with my boys is exactly where I want to be. Home is not something or somewhere I once knew and want to return. Home for me is the continual creation of moments with my children, the ebb and flow of my marriage, and the acceptance that comes with age and growing into myself. Tom Wolfe was right...I can't go home because I am already here.